Celebrate the WOMAN in you - IWD


International Women's Day, Indian Women, Happy Women's Day,write tribe

A survey conducted 3 years ago , revealed that Indian women are the most stressed out in the world: 87% of Indian women feel stressed out most of the time.

After 3 years, today in my opinion, the percentage must have increased. Yes, I feel we, Indian women are stressed directly or indirectly, either we accept it or not.

Let's begin from the beginning, even before my birth, my mother is stressed about my gender. 

Yes, it's 2015 but it remains a ugly fact even today in below-poverty line & lower middle class families, mothers are worried about their first born baby girls. I can't for sure say it has changed in other families.
In my childhood,  I am taught to sacrifice starting from my favorite chocolate or toys, because I am the elder one and should pamper my younger brother/sister. In my early days I understand that being a girl, means living a life different from your brother.

As I grow up, my mother is worried about my safety and in order to protect me from being abused, she teaches me about good and bad touch or unfortunately I grow up in a family where such talks are not encouraged, I end up being one among the  76% indian girls, who have been molested at least once in childhood by a known person.

I am in high school, so no more frocks or skirts. I need to wear 'Right Clothes', covering me totally, whereas my brother can roam around shirtless. 

College days, I have to attend early morning tuitions because late evening batch,  is not safe. I have to come home by dark, it's not safe. My brother gets to do what ever he wants, he can attend the same party I have been invited too, comes home when he wants to.

He can go cycling in a pair of shorts, but I can't.

I help my mother in her household chores, while he can leave his plate on the table, dirty socks on the floor, play with his friends... I should not make genuine friends in opposite gender because that puts me in bad light.

I study hard, graduate, I think I will start enjoying work, being independent. If it was not for that married Boss, who is excepting more from me than just work.

I can't wear a skirt few inches short, because thats like I am sending an open invitation to get raped. I can't wear something that flaunts my body, because others around me are not comfortable with my sexuality.

Few months pass by, just when I start enjoying my professional success, I have to get married. Why? 
No, I can't ask, am already too trained to think on my own.

I am really lucky, if I am allowed to choose my life partner, of course he should belong from same religion, same caste ...oops  I forgot  same sub caste too. If I am really blessed, my parents would actually consider my happiness over society's reaction and accept my love for a boy from a different caste( Never religion).

Lets not get into what happens if I chose someone from a different religion...

A different Nationality ??? Totally absurd thought !!

Newly married, New family, new relationships ....

A new life, Yeah with all good things attached it's a start of never ending expectations, yes I resigned at the peak of my career, relocate to a new city, new country but thats not even mentioned forget getting acknowledged or praised. 

After all thats what I am supposed to do, right??

I will start from scratch, with a new identity, I know it would have been much easier if I was in my old job and again for the second time after reaching a stage where I can say I am professionally successful.

 I need to take a break, because my biological clock is ticking--Big deal! 

Once I am a mother, by the law of the nature I am totally responsible for my children and need to play the role of being a totally selfless, sacrificing mother with no needs or dreams of her own. I should happily stay at home and raise my children, if my husband earns enough if not I need to get back to work, and slog my ass off managing both.

I am the Super Woman, so I wake up early cook, clean, work long hours, back home to more of cooking and cleaning. I thank my stars, if I am married to a guy who believes in sharing equal responsibility else I continue doing what I do, neither I expect any help nor I complain.

Few years later, my children are all well settled, busy in their lives. I consider the thought of learning music or joining a dance class, which was my childhood dream. But how can I possibly to that in this age?? 

Unfortunately, If I am single, divorced or a widow at a later stage, then I am entitled to live a life all by myself. I am denied companionship because thats not the right thing to do in a age where I am supposed to start my spiritual journey.....

I should probably stop typing now!

"K....Okay... Because now I realize it's not right to write about all these bitter facts on International Women's Day ! I rather wish everyone 'A Happy Women's Day', expecting that at least one day in a whole year, we celebrate being a Woman, we do what makes us happy, we try to take a break and just enjoy being 'ME' for  a change. A day to relax, smile, shop, read, dance, sing, travel...

Just do whatever you REALLY want to do! "



Image credit: giovanninacolalillo

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47 comments:

  1. Beautiful write and I completely agree with you! (o)

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  2. Nicely written!!
    Happy Women's Day to you as well!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Anvi :))
      Wish u the same...

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  3. I totally agree with you.. uff ... So many roles a Woman portrays in her life.. Must congratulate for the Incredible energy a woman has.. (h)
    Happy Women's Day to you ...!!!

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    1. Thanks Priyanka,
      Happy Women's Day !

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    2. Yes, it's a day to just be happy being ourselves.Happy IWD!

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  4. Very well written Ananya. The plight of women is sorrowful.

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  5. Hey this is beautifully written. Completely agree with every bit of it. Wish der were not dese mind-numbing xpectatns from us.
    Newez..Happy Women's Day! V r strong...com wat may...

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  6. WELL-WRITTEN Ananya! a baby girl born is an aberration . She should have no mind ,wishes ,desires and aspirations of her own only to be remote controlled by the society ,parents , husband and in-laws. From cradle to grave , the only thing heaped upon her are the expectations of others.

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  7. Thank you for sharing, different cultures have different expectations of their sons and daughters. We as women need to exceed those expectations even it is one small step at a time. You did a beautiful job telling an unfortunate but true story which crosses continents, cultures and class systems. We must strive to improve the lives of younger women everywhere. Thank you Ananya.

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  8. I am sorry I missed reading it yesterday.Very well written bringing out the plight of women n many families.I hope things will change though not sure when.But signs are there.
    I hope you had a great day

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    1. Hey KP Thanks " Better late than never" han. :)
      My day was really good, but I felt quite stuck...
      Few friends asked me if I wrote abt my experience here...
      I felt thats all that mattered...
      Nobody thought what i wrote could imply to their mother's, sisters, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, friends or daughter....
      hmmmm...

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  9. Great post...women in general are taught to sacrifice...and apparently that's all you do in life! The double standards between the genders annoys me no end.

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  10. "SHE" is the HARBINGER of Humanity
    "SHE" is the EPITOME of Selflessness
    "SHE" is the PERSONIFICATION of Elegance
    ......"SHE" is precious !
    RESPECT ...coz they deserve it !!
    simply awesome ! (Y)

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  11. Brilliant and thought provoking analysis on the selfish, patriarchy that permeates inequality. Well done, Ananya:)

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  12. Very well written. Women are much stronger that they think. I guess that's why we get saddled with so many responsibilities willingly or unwillingly... :(

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  13. We women are the best.. there are no second thoughts about that one (o)

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    1. Happy Women's Day :) thanks for dropping in ur comment !

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  14. Good one, Ananya. All facts and no fantasies ! Well written :)

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  15. Best Women's Day celebration post I've seen--ever. Women are the original second-class citizens. Before discrimination began based on race, on religion, before there were nations to create an identity humans could then use to validate an Us vs Them attitude... Before all this, at the beginning of time, women were already discriminated. For--well, for being women. For not being men. I often wonder what the world would be like today if those first women had stood up for themselves, had banded together and enslaved men (in Amazon fashion). What kind of world would we live in today if back then we'd taken control of our destinies?

    The plight of women in India isn't unique, although it's certainly extreme. But change has to start somewhere. Through women like you, with the guts to speak out, to fight (with words--the pen, more powerful, etc.) for a modicum of equality. Every victory women have achieved through the millennia has been because of someone like you. Brava!

    Visiting from The A-Z Theme Reveal -- can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

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    1. Dear Guilie,
      I cant thank you enough for the your kind words of appreciation.
      I just wrote what I felt on that day... because I never quite understood "WHY are we treated this way??"
      Thank you for encouraging me to write down my thoughts and feelings.I appreciate it :))

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  16. You have beautifully captured the restrictions and injustice faced by women in each stage of life. Well expressed Ananya!

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  17. very aptly written! I am glad I stumbled upon your blog

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  18. Found this blog in shyam's blog post n am so glad i visited ananya trust me! Jst dis 1 post n am already following ur blog :-) love it :-) nw am gng on readin evry post :-D keep writing (y)

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    1. Thanks Swathi,
      Words of appreciation from someone whose writing I like, is a great compliment.
      Thank you so very much :))

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  19. I couldn't write on this but I guess I don't have to all you wonderful women have covered everything that any woman would want to write! Gr8 post

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  20. Its not okay. in spite of all the hardships you mentioned to have just one day of free will... I expect more.. so no happy women's day ..

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  21. I wish we reached a state where there was no need to have one day to acknowledge and celebrate women. .

    Nevertheless, with a big sigh and a heavy heart, here's wishing you a Happy Women's Day :)

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    Replies
    1. Yeah I wished that too !
      Thanks for stopping by !

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  22. Beautifull article...Thank you very much to open ours eyes
    www.francescagori.com

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  23. You've put your soul on writing this post haven't you? I'm glad you have decided to start your own journey where you do the things you love. That shows your innate strength, your ability to dream and hope and that shows what a strong woman you are!
    Xx,
    Nilu Yuleena
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

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  24. Loved the post Ananya ! The bitter truth, unfortunately. But we must bring about a change starting with our own children. Why should boys enjoy all the comforts of life ? Great going on the post.

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