Very Complicated !


Q: Whats your relationship status??
A:  Aaa....it's very complicated !

   This has now become a trendy statement, most of the times people just say it without even acknowledging its true meaning. But for me with the unusual childhood and living for 4 years with an alcohol addicted uncle and ... lets not get into the ugly details. Let me just say my perception about  relationships was very complicated.

I never resented Men, I was never a Man-hater but I was very skeptical when it came to loving a Man or accepting someone as my own. 

I still remember in my early college days when all teenagers  were enjoying their rosy puppy- phase love life. I just spent time thinking how much commitment could any boy give at the age of 17 or 19. I was let down by many relationships in my family by now and so I thought I couldn't change that but what I could, was to choose my future relationships carefully. 

No matter how charming was the guy who expressed his love for me, I thought it was just not the right time to fall into it. I would just laugh it off !

By now I had seen closely many marriages fail miserably causing an irreversible damage on one of the spouse and the other moved on as if nothing had happened. This had left its dark impression on me. 

Since I was someone who rationalized every emotion of mine and others, I had my own concept about LOVE and Marriage.


I didn't decide against any but it became  very complicated to explain what I felt about each and my expectations attached to them. I am extremely sensitive about feelings and well aware about the real facts from an early age and that added to the already present complicated thought process.


mrs INdia washington, Usa, Love and marriage, very complicated thoughts, miserable marriages, impact of failed relationships on others

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31 comments:

  1. If I were in your place, I would have felt the same. If we see all negative, we lose a hope inside. And when we see everything positive around, our experiences tells us how to work for our relationships. In any case your decision was right, at the age of 17 or 20 none of us can commit for rest of the 70-80 wtv years. It takes time for us to get mature and make a stable decision! :)

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  2. You are thinking too much and may be one should !!! Be Positive Ananyaa....:)

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  3. I was like you in college also. Can totally relate. Now I like to think that it can work for someone and then yet not for others to have life long relationship. I think the most important is never to compromise on your own belief, happiness and wishes. Life is too short. Also get very angry by society and judgmental persons who are dictating others how to make their lives... Well written:-)

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  4. You had to mature much faster than your peers, and that may not necessarily have been a bad thing!

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  5. Our feelings stems from our experiences. You know yourself better and the decision should be solely yours when it comes to relationships.

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  6. So much of what we believe/feel comes from our experience, observations. And yet life is such that it keeps us offereing experience after exerience to keep revisiting and re-evaluating our own beliefs and feelings and thoughts on such important matters like relationships, love, etc. Sending you good wishes.

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  7. Well written. All such things are complicated to explain to others whose notion is different
    Good luck

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  8. I would say, just keep your arms open for love to embrace you.

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  9. Well everyone keeps complicating their relationships when it can be kept simple no?

    PhenoMenon
    http://throodalookingglass.com/2014/04/voices/

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  10. Experience colours our perception.

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  11. Very nicely written. If such things are discussed every body will have a different notion.

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  12. Relationships require work and commitment...and boy, they can be complicated! I must admit I am loving being single...in fact, sometimes I worry I might be loving it so much it will be hard to get into a relationship again...

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  13. very true ananya ... experiences do play a part in wht we make of life

    here is a different take on relations just to lighten up the air
    http://the-storyboards.blogspot.in/2012/01/love-happened.html

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  14. I think we all are allowed to feel and make our decisions based on our experiences and I think you are right in what you believe

    V for Violated-Random Thoughts Naba

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  15. Glad to read your take on the complexity of human relations, Ananya and it's wise and natural to based yourself on experiences in life. But, keep the faith and I'm sure someday, you will find love in life. But, go ahead with what you believe and this is what matters:)

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  16. My belief is that when it is meant to be it will be. Just be true to yourself and right people (and the right man) will walk by. Nice, thought provoking post.

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  17. It is all the happenings centering around you and showed you something. Like rotating stage happenings also change and then you see reverse things. There are shadows and lights in our path of life, the length of each varies from person to person as per wish of the almighty. All of us are compelled to act accordingly and that is what you are doing and feeling.

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  18. As long as you are content with your decision and your life it is completely okay. Complicated is as good as simple,afterall it is your complicated.

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  19. You know the pitfalls so use them to your advantage. Never give up on love and it shall find you - that is love's promise.

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  20. thinking too much sometime is not a good thing to do !

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  21. Very insightful... sounds like you know yourself well.

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  22. I think we all specialize in complicating our relationships when all we need to do is KISS... Keep it simple, silly :D

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  23. :-) I know what you mean. I never understood the dating conundrum at that stage and was pretty sure nobody could make a relationship commitment without settling down in life first. Yet I saw some of the school romances flourish and reach the happily ever after stage. Who can predict what life has in store. Looks like you are pretty clear-headed. Pretty ....and... clear headed. That is a lovely photo, Ananya!
    I recommended your blog in my post today!

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  24. a truthful post and trust me I can correlate :) :) You look pretty :D :)

    ~S(t)ri Writes

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  25. --you will know when it's RIGH...and believe me, it will be worth the wait. x

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  26. Love will find you when you're ready. Till then, relax and live life. :)

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  27. Our past hurts make us cautious and that's not a bad thing. Take your time and decide, take care

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  28. Surprisingly I was very practical during my teenage years. Serious, studious and never much believed in rosy love. I was in my mid twenties when I fell in love and all the practicality left my mind and I was living in my own dreamland. That just proves, love cannot be forced. It will find it's way and you will know it. :)
    I still think my younger self was more practical than my current self.

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  29. Thank you for reading this post and spending your time and sharing your precious views !
    Thank you very much :)

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  30. R u trying to convince yourself .... or you are trying to find answers to some thing which is bothering you.... i hope you got the answers

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  31. Honestly..during my teenage time I also stayed away from puppy-love. Even if I used to had any crush I kept it hidden at the abyss of my inner sole. But with time I have evolved and started believing in love. Now after 1.5 years of my marriage I feel love is an indispensable part of one's life. In love, the more you let yourself go the more merry you will be.. and best of luck to your for the contest. I hope you win it !

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