Q: Whats your relationship status??
A: Aaa....it's very complicated !
This has now become a trendy statement, most of the times people just say it without even acknowledging its true meaning. But for me with the unusual childhood and living for 4 years with an alcohol addicted uncle and ... lets not get into the ugly details. Let me just say my perception about relationships was very complicated.
I never resented Men, I was never a Man-hater but I was very skeptical when it came to loving a Man or accepting someone as my own.
I still remember in my early college days when all teenagers were enjoying their rosy puppy- phase love life. I just spent time thinking how much commitment could any boy give at the age of 17 or 19. I was let down by many relationships in my family by now and so I thought I couldn't change that but what I could, was to choose my future relationships carefully.
No matter how charming was the guy who expressed his love for me, I thought it was just not the right time to fall into it. I would just laugh it off !
By now I had seen closely many marriages fail miserably causing an irreversible damage on one of the spouse and the other moved on as if nothing had happened. This had left its dark impression on me.
Since I was someone who rationalized every emotion of mine and others, I had my own concept about LOVE and Marriage.
I didn't decide against any but it became very complicated to explain what I felt about each and my expectations attached to them. I am extremely sensitive about feelings and well aware about the real facts from an early age and that added to the already present complicated thought process.